I really enjoy THE NEWSROOM, but. But. Now we have a problem.

The problem started a few weeks ago: a friend of mine–a woman!–mentioned that she didn’t like the women on the show, “We can do better,” she said. I didn’t know what that was about: at the time, I hadn’t seen so many episodes, but I’d seen enough to object: one character was obviously “doing better”: Sloan Sabbith (http://thenewsroom.wikia.com/wiki/Sloan_Sabbith).

She has huge boobs, two huge PhDs, and speaks a huge amount of Japanese. Did I mention she’s super hot? She probably knows Kung Fu, too. “Clearly women ARE doing better,” I thought, “Sabbith doesn’t fit into my friend’s comment; Sabbith is smart, and attractive, and doesn’t need a man to tell her she’s allowed to go to the bathroom now.”

But I was wrong: the seventh episode, BULLIES, centers on Sabbith: she lets herself get bullied into doing something really stupid. A man bullies her. She’s super eager to please this man, so she transforms herself into an idiot (Of course! People with breasts always do shit like this, don’t they?) Sabbith gets suspended for her stupid crap; her boss’ boss calls her “girl” disrespectfully, and she yells back–respectfully–“Don’t call me ‘girl’, sir!” For a second everything hangs in a balance: “maybe women HAVE progresses after all,” you might start thinking, but wait a moment: wait:

When her boss yells at her, Sabbith gets super sad. She kind of wilts like a schoolgirl; “why won’t men affirm me?!?!” *sniffle*

Then, Super-hero-like, a different boss–lots of bosses; all men–walks over and does the most disgusting gesture I’ve ever seen on TV: he delicately lifts her chin with his finger.

I immediately vomited on the floor.

Poor sad, weak Sabbith who needs a man to encourage her!

(We’ve all been there: your lover’s sad, so you gesture the old “keep the chin up” thingy with a literal gesture of keep the chin up. Your lover, weak woman that she is, makes passionate, thankful sex to you for hours. Days. You are amazing and strong. You glow. Hair grows from you back, but you shave it off. Your lover invites her friends over and they wait in a line to have thankful sex with you, one at a time, with tears in their eyes.)

The episode ends with Sunday apologizing for begin smart. She tells the nation on live TV that she’s not fluent in Japanese (which she is; that’s why she’s so hot. Plus, her breasts, of course). She tells everyone on TV that she’s an idiot. PLUS, she looks at her boss–a third boss; still a man (the one who bullied her in the first place and got her doing stupid stuff because she’s so eager to please him)–and says something like, “Hey so I should belittle myself on TV?” “Yes, of course,” he tells her: “of course you should tell everyone you are an idiot: and remember, Sabbith, don’t be smarter than the men in the room: they don’t like it, and will make you apologize for it–if not cut your breasts off with a pair of scissors like they do in Afghanistan.”

I vomited on the floor of my flat a second time.

Fortunately, I have wood floors; but, unfortunately the vomit smelled really bad: 100% beer vomit is very smelly. Even more unfortunately: my girlfriend wasn’t around, my flatmate (a subservient woman) was at work, AND my mom lives in TX, so there was literally ZERO eager women for me to bully into cleaning up my vomit! I ignored the smell for a while, but eventually I actually had to pause my TV show and mop up my own vomit! I know, right! I’m going to get married soon, or move back in with my parents. 

Anyway, so, yeah, THE NEWSROOM, and eager women who, even if they’re smart, really aren’t smart because they’re so eager–but their breasts are nice to look at.