A father, mother, and daughter walk into a bar where the national Portuguese football team plays live on television. The family watches in silence for a while. Mother: We haven’t done this since Madrid. Father: That was a long time ago. Mother: No, we did this in Manta Rota when Portugal defeated France. Father: When …
Monthly Archives: June 2021
Sauerkraut
One day, a hippie does what no man can do for him in the forest outside a city; nearby, a city-dwelling man and woman walk a dog. Man: What is that hippie doing in those bushes? Woman: Don’t look. Hippie, yelling: This forest is occupied! Man: Is he doing what no man can do for …
Swallow
A man and a dog walk through a medieval village; tilia trees bloom in all the parks and their fragrance fills the village. Man: What’s this? Hello! The man and dog pause, bend down, and inspect a baby swallow on the pavement. Man: Hello! Swallow: Chirp. The man stands and walks to a nearby café. …
In which a father and a daughter hold hands
A girl and her father walk down a rocky road towards a waterfall and a river swimming pool. Girl: Hold my hand. Father: What? Girl: I said, hold my hand; you aren’t listening to me. Father: I was thinking about something else. Girl: This road is too rocky and I might fall. Father: But I …
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Madrid, Blur
Madrid cafe – September Two people sit in the sunlight of a cafe. Woman: When young, people would look to me–I would feel them look to me. On a bus I would not push the button–the button to stop–because I know they were, anyone, look to me. I would ride the bus to the end …
In which a hippie says good afternoon
The setting: a beautiful park next to a river where a picturesque waterfall spills into a deep pool crossed by an old Roman bridge under which two white swans swim in the dappled reflections of a sunset beyond the distant hills. Two women sit on a park bench nearby and compare babies with one another. …
In which Ewan McGregor visits moi in a dream
Ewan McGregor approaches with a smile and gives Moi a big hug. Ewan: It is SO good to see you again! How have you been? Moi: Oh, you know… We stayed in some houses for a year during quarantines, but we are living in our van again. Traveling around like old times until we are …
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Kombucha
German, speaking in German: This kombucha is good. American, speaking in Portuguese and then in French: I speak Portuguese and English. I’m sorry. My name is Mr. Cheese. Haha. German, speaking in French: I like to curse in French, but prefer German or English for ideas. I just read a book by Jordan Peterson called …
Rueful Archer
Rufus cries softly into a wineglass late at night. A computer sits open before Rufus upon which he has just binge-watched a full season of Archer. Rufus: How did this happen? Why? Rufus shuts his computer, slurps wine, and lets the tears roll down his cheeks. Dermot: Are you talking to me? Rufus: Dermot? Where …
Panaché
A group of guys sit around a table and discuss how to rebrand the beverage 7-Up. 1: Seven up. 2. Oh, god, where do we get these clients. 3: They pay super well, though, right? 4: Let’s move on, ya’ll, from all those negativities and just do the job. 1. Do the job? Does that …