In which Ewan brings Moi biscotti

Too early on Saturday morning. The doorbell rings; the doorbell rings again; the doorbell rings a third time and finally Moi answers the door. Moi: Oh, Ewan, it’s you. Ewan: Surprise! Biscotti and espresso! Moi: Huh? Ewan: I have biscotti! Moi: Isn’t it a little...

In which a philosopher lectures his cell mate

A philosopher sits in a jail cell and pontificates at his cell mate. Philosopher: The concept of herd immunity is ridiculous and reveals the weakness in our public health. I mean, there is no such thing as herd immunity; there is individual immunity, yes, and, by...

In which Ewan asks Moi to leg wrestle

Moi sits at a café in a medieval village reading an archaic novel by someone with the audacity to possess—and use publicly—three or four enormously long names. Ewan McGregor approaches from street left. Ewan: Hey, Moi! Moi: Yes? Ewan: I’m so happy I found you; guess...

In which a fuddy-duddy writes about the scarlet pimpernel

A small study. The walls are covered in antique books and a happy fire burns in the hearth. An armchair sits in the middle of the room where a fuddy-duddy sits reading a novel by Baroness Emmuska Orczy about the adventures of the dashing and imitable Scarlet...

In which a man sits in the park and drinks a box of wine

A park bench. A man sits and drinks a box of wine and talks to himself. Kids play nearby in the grass. Man: I always thought I was better than other people, but I saw the error of my ways—early on, very early. I was like, ten-years-old; haha, man, I was precocious in...