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In which the fuddy-duddy writes about The Hobbit

The fuddy-duddy picks up a pen, considers a moment, and begins: “How many times have I read The Hobbit? I’ll have to ask Beatrix.” The fuddy-duddy rings the silver bell that sits at his elbow. He waits a moment. He leans forward and pokes the fire with a fire tool....

In which Johnny dreams about his ex wife

Flashback. Johnny’s kitchen. Johnny prepares sauerkraut with this ex-wife. The two stand at a table and chop cabbage. Johnny is naked but wearing a tasteful pink apron. His ex-wife is naked, too, and also wearing a pink apron. Soft elevator music plays in the...

In which Leo and Ewan fight over Moi

Moi sits at a table in a café. Ewan McGregor stands awkwardly nearby and chats with Moi. Leonardo DiCaprio approaches up the street and, seeing Moi and Ewan in the café, knocks on the café window. Ewan: Oh, god, don’t look up, Moi! Moi: Why? Ewan: Oh, no; he saw us!...

A second power outage at a restaurant

A restaurant. A man and woman sit at dinner. A cat sits on a chair nearby. Man: Do you remember the last time we were here? Woman: The power outage? Yeah. Man: Why did we return? Woman: I recall a heated discussion some moments ago—what time is it? Man: Seven thirty;...