A restaurant. A man and wife sit at dinner. The electrical output in the kitchen overloads the circuit and the lights shut off. The couple sit in darkness for a moment before speaking.

Man: I wonder how much of a discount this will be?

Woman: It depends if you flip the breaker for them.

Man: I imagine we are saving on their electricity bill, so one could make the argument.

Woman: I like the dark.

Silence for a moment.

Woman: You know, I did suggest that we go to the wood-fired pizza place.

Man: I don’t recall.

Woman: Oh, yes, I did, and I wonder if the wood-fired pizza place has electricity.

Man: But, is it wood-fired, though? I thought they sprayed the pizza with wood-fire flavor and use an electric oven.

Woman: That is very cynical.

Man: Well, I don’t know.

Woman: I can’t be cynical sitting in the dark like this on a date night. I just need a candle.

Man: A candle?

Woman: Very romantic, candles.

Man: Are you suggesting what I think you are suggesting?

Woman: No, no, don’t get any frisky ideas; it isn’t THAT dark in here.

Man: Well, obviously we would climb under the table first!

Woman: Obviously, my dear, yes. Oh, these tablecloths are so elegant.

Silence for a moment.

Woman: If only I could see them.

Man: I will ask the waiter if I can speak with his manager. Haha, that will get us a discount for sure.

Woman: First ask the waiter if he is vaccinated.

Man: Haha, “Are you vaccinated, and can speak to your manager.”

Woman: This dinner will be free, you want to bet?

Man: There must be a way we can make that more passive aggressive.

Woman: You could ask “What is that smell?” in between the vaccination and the manager questions.

Man: You mean imply that something untoward happened offstage and the effluvium wafted this way afterward?

Woman: My, my, Ronald, such vocabulary this evening.

Man: It is the darkness, I guess. I… I…

Woman: Forgive me, I made you second guess yourself; a moment ago you were frolicking about like a youth—remembering lost strength, no doubt.

Man: I do like sitting in the dark; I forgot that I’m bald!

Woman: You forgot you are bald?

Man: Yes, for a moment. I just came alive for a brief moment before the sound of your voice brought me back to reality.

Woman: Yes, my poor, dear bald Reginald.

Man: Oh, good, I thought you were going to call me Rene again.

Woman: I would only do that in front of my mother—as you know.

Man: Yes, oh, yes.

A profound silence.

Woman: Haha, I was just thinking that I couldn’t pay you to get under this table right now—not after mentioning Rene AND my mother.

Man: I haven’t said anything for some time now, so I can’t be blamed for anything. Blameless, I am.

The end.