In which a woman asks about spanking

A kitchen table. A woman sits with various pamphlets in front of her. She makes a phone call. Woman: Hi, hello, yes, very well, thank you. I’m calling because I want to put my father into a home for old people. Yes, yes, that’s right; old, old, old. Well, I was...

In which Silvia learns a little French

Silvia sits at a mirror and combs straw out of her hair. Silvia: I don’t speak much the language of fogs and frogs, that French language: the language of the mayonnaise eaters. Or do they produce the mayonnaise? Perhaps both: production and eating. I know they...

A conversation that de-evolves

What is Kate’s father’s name?Kate? I thought Kate had two moms.No; Kate has a mom and a dad; the dad is one of the teachers at your daughter’s school.Oh, I was thinking of, um; hey, what time is it?It is almost six. I can’t remember the...

In which two hippies wrestle in the dirt

Two hippies crash through a bar window and wrestle in the dirt street; the local sheriff awakes from a cat nap, approaches, draws his pistol, and shoots a warning shot into the air. The two hippies pause. Sheriff: What’s the problem, boys? Hippie: He said compost is...

In which two clowns meet in an oak forest

An oak forest. Two clowns meet on a fern-bordered path. One holds a chocolate cake; the other holds a guitar. They smile. They gesture exchange. They exchange the guitar for the chocolate cake. They sit. One clown plays the guitar; the other eats cake. After a moment,...

In which we introduce the unvaccinated Jew

An unvaccinated Jew raises his hand during a press conference. President: Um, yes, the unvaccinated Jew there in the back with the silly hat? Jew: So, these lockdowns for the unvaccinated Jews like me won’t snowball into a negative social stigma? Resulting in a...

A third power outage at a restaurant

A restaurant. A man and woman sit at dinner. A bluejay perches on a chair nearby. Man: I had the funniest dream last night. Woman: Did you write it down? Man: No; it was so funny that I was sure to remember in the morning. I woke up at three thirty and thought, Oh,...

In which Leo serenades Moi

Night. The front lawn of Moi’s house. A shadowy figure stands under Moi’s bedroom window. The shadowy figure holds a guitar in one hand and tosses pebbles at the glass with the other. After a few sharp clicks of the pebbles against the glass, Moi opens his bedroom...