In which a banker talks to a mechanic

A banker enters a garage and approaches a car under which a mechanic works.

Banker: Hello? Hi, Dave! Do you remember me? We talked on the phone last week and scheduled an appointment for—

The banker looks at his watch.

Banker: For ten minutes ago. You see, the idea was that we would arrive here with our car and you would be ready to receive our car and we would do an exchange of value. We, too, have a job—like yours, but different. In our job, we receive various earnings from our work and out of these earnings, we hoped to bequeath unto you some remunerations. What are these earnings? What are these remunerations? Well, Dave, we are pleased that you asked. These remunerations start with an M and end in Honey. Yes, that’s it: M-honey. M-honey. We want to give you m-honey. We want to, we do. We like you. We aren’t yanking you around or dangling the carrot; no; candid and forthcoming with the m-honey. To give you m-honey is why we called you last week and scheduled an appointment in advance so that you could usher our car into your garage and do amazing things to it. In exchange, we offer you m-honey. Dave, oh, Dave.

Dave rolls out from under the car and looks up at the banker.

Dave: Who is “we”?

Banker: We, Dave, is who wants you to do a very simple thing: we want you to tell all these other people to go fuck themselves, Dave. Did they call you last week? Do they have hard earned m-honey to give you? How hard was it earned? Like, really hard or just like meh? Is it m-honey or is it just, like, meh-ney? Because we have m-honey, Dave. And, did these other people call you last week and talk especially to their dear-friend-from-a-long-time-who-does-all-kinds-of-magic-on-the-car-mechanic-Dave and ask him especially to do something from the hours of right now until, say, two hours from right now? Did they? All we ask is a simple thing, Dave: tell these other nice citizens to go fuck themselves. Can you do that for us, Dave? M-honey, Dave. M-honey.

The end.

Published by Mink

The amazing writer, husband, father, traveler, and in general a uniquely amazing person named Jared Mink.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *