A kitchen table. A woman sits with various pamphlets in front of her. She makes a phone call.

Woman: Hi, hello, yes, very well, thank you. I’m calling because I want to put my father into a home for old people. Yes, yes, that’s right; old, old, old. Well, I was reading over your literature and wondered if you employ discipline; for example, imagine that the old person—my father—is misbehaving. Do you use emotional or psychological tricks like guilt, or do you physically spank the old person? No, no, that’s fine; great. That’s why I’m calling! Yes, yes, yes, I am searching for an old folks home that uses lots and lots of spanking, so that’s great to hear. On average, how much spanking will my old man receive per week? Well, I was spanked A LOT as a child, so I want to be sure that my father receives it back A LOT—hard. OK, great. Great! And the spanker is a very strong man? Big meaty arms and, maybe, a beard? Oh, great; wow, that’s great to hear! Yes, yes, I would love to come and meet the spanker! I was planning to visit a home this coming week. Say, on Thursday? Okay, great, that will work. OK, bye for now. You have a great day, too!

The woman sets down her phone and reaches for her tea cup. She sighs contentedly.

The end.