An angry disaffected young male (ADYM), who spent most of the night reading Jordan B Peterson, awakes in the morning to the sound of birds chirping in the sunrise.

ADYM: So let me just try to get my head around this idea: Jordan is saying that I really CAN improve myself; I CAN admire someone who is better than me, and I CAN work to become an admirable person without contributing to evil! My admiration does NOT affirm an exploitive power structure! Not all institutions and hierarchies are inherently oppressive or evil; I can look around me at the world and respond to beauty and competence! Doing so doesn’t make me a tyrant! I can admire someone and emulate that admirable person without guilt as if I’ve thereby promoted systemic racism or evil. I feel my heart responding already! Look outside! Look at the sunlight and the birds!

The ADYM sits up in bed and brushes potato chips out of his beard and off the bed sheets.

ADYM: I don’t have to eat potato chips in bed anymore! I can delete my Netflix account and read delicious old novels! I don’t have to be fat and depressed! I can admire beauty and competence! I can be beautiful and competent! Me! Oh, God, I want to go back to school! I want to wearing nice clothing and trim my beard! I want to live again! Zuzu’s petals! Zuzu’s petals! Haha!

The ADYM skips to the bathroom and looks in the mirror. He squirts toothpaste on the palm of his hand and begins to write a list of items on his bathroom mirror in toothpaste.

  1. Hygiene
    1. no potato chips in bed
    2. take a bath immediately upon reading this every AM
    3. remove hair from shoulders, back, and etcetera
  2. Wear high-quality clothing
  3. No, WASH all existing clothing and wear clean clothing every day; next year, you can begin replacing current wardrobe with high-quality clothing, but let’s baby step the clothing issue this year
  4. Learn Faraday’s electromagnetic formulas
  5. When you see something beautiful, say “Beauty!”
  6. Surround self with admirable people
  7. Smile!
  8. Stand up straight
  9. Check your hair for potato chips

The ADYM does check his hair and finds two potato chips nestled into his curls on the top of his head. He removes them. He stands up strait and smiles. His life begins to improve.

The end.