Moi sits at a café in a medieval village reading an archaic novel by someone with the audacity to possess—and use publicly—three or four enormously long names. Ewan McGregor approaches from street left.

Ewan: Hey, Moi!

Moi: Yes?

Ewan: I’m so happy I found you; guess what?

Moi: Your excitement is contagious: what is it?

Ewan: Put down the book; stop reading. Look at me. Look at me!

Moi: Yes? Okay, I’m looking.

Ewan: I joined a gym! The gym around the corner.

Moi: Ah, look at you joining gyms, Ewan! Good for you!

Ewan: I know, and that’s not even the best part: I’m taking a leg-wrestling class.

Moi: Leg wrestling?

Ewan: You are skeptical; I was, too, at first, but the workout—oh man what a workout!

Moi: I’m sure that it is!

Ewan: Would you—you can say no if you want, okay—would you mind practicing with me?

Moi: Practicing what?

Ewan: Leg wrestling!

Moi moves about uncomfortably and leans forward to whisper to Ewan.

Moi: Listen, Ewan. Do you think you can speak a little more quietly?

Ewan: I need to practice a couple times a week, and I can’t leg wrestle myself, can I? I need your help!

Moi: I understand, but can we have this conversation later, or somewhere else—not in public?

Ewan: Three times a week would be great. And, like I said, it is a great workout. The glutes feel great for days afterward. Look at mine!

Ewan turns his buttocks towards Moi.

Moi: Um, well, I will have to check my schedule first.

Ewan: Yes, do that; check the schedule.

Ewan stands next to the table for a minute while he waits for Moi to check Moi’s schedule.

Moi: I don’t have my schedule with me; you see, I’m reading an archaic novel in a medieval city café; modern technologies are lost on Moi. Just look at the name of this author: can you believe how long and pretentious this name is?

Ewan: And that is why I want you for my leg-wrestling partner; you are just the kind of person I want to leg wrestle.

Moi: I guess I’ll have to get back to you later about the leg wrestling?

Ewan: No, no: we will just pencil in a leg-wrestling workout for tomorrow afternoon?

Moi: I really don’t know, Ewan; I need to check my schedule.

Ewan: Like at, say, four thirty?

Moi: No, Ewan, I need to check my schedule.

Ewan: Don’t say that; don’t say anything. Shh!

Moi: Ewan, look.

Ewan: No; no, you look, Moi. I’ll be here tomorrow at four thirty and we will see how it goes, okay?

Moi: No, Ewan.

Ewan: Yes, Moi. Yes! Go home right now and check your stupid schedule; think about the leg-wrestling venture; sleep on the idea. In the morning, all things are bright and new; you’ll see. And, tomorrow, I’ll be here at four thirty tomorrow to leg wrestle you. I’ll hope to see you.

Moi: Ewan—

Ewan: No, no, hush; don’t say a word.

The end.