In which Moi apologizes to Ewan for yelling about yogurt

Ewan’s front door. Moi rings the bell. After a moment, Ewan opens the door. He wears an apron.

Ewan: Moi!

Moi: Hi, Ewan. I wanted to come by your house today and apologize for yelling at you about the yogurt. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I was reading the news a lot and, well, a profound cynicism pervaded my whole soul; I began to hate myself and the whole world. Will you forgive me?

Ewan: Wow, to be honest, you did crush my spirit a little when you yelled at me. I am so happy that you came here to ask forgiveness for the yogurt incident. I wholeheartedly accept your apology!

Moi: Can I have a hug?

Ewan: Hell yeah!

They hug.

Ewan: I’m sorry but now you have flour on you. Today’s my baking day.

Moi: Oh, yeah, you have a baking day?

Ewan: And you, what do you have planned for today, my friend?

Moi: I’m going to the highway to pick up plastic garbage.

Ewan: Why are you picking up plastic garbage?

Moi: I built a pyrolysis station in my backyard to destroy plastics. I collect the garbage and then destroy it.

Ewan: Pyrolysis? You destroy plastics?

Moi: I’m burning plastics in a non-oxygenated environment and then condensing the gas into a liquid fuel. I use the fuel in my car and some small engines around the house. Do you want to come and see how it works?

Ewan: Yes, yes, yes; give me five minutes to get my gloves, sunscreen, and—what else should I bring?

Moi: Well, do you have any chocolate chip cookies? I haven’t had a chocolate chip cookie in a long time, Ewan.

Ewan: Yes! I just baked chocolate chip cookies! Come in! Come in!

Moi enters and eats some cookies with Ewan; afterward, they head over to the highway and pick up plastic garbage all afternoon.

The end.

Published by Mink

The amazing writer, husband, father, traveler, and in general a uniquely amazing person named Jared Mink.

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