In which moi disgusts Ewan McGregor

Moi stands at the door of a public bathroom and looks at the sidewalk. Ewan McGregor approaches.

Ewan: Man, I need to pee!

Moi: Stop.

Ewan: What are you looking at, man?

Moi: Stop, don’t go any further.

Ewan: I need to pee!

Moi: Look at the ground: there is a poo there and some vomit over there.

Ewan, horrified: Ah! Sick! People are so sick—I’m disgusted! People are disgusting! Ah!

Moi: I know; I was just standing here wondering which came first?

Ewan: What? What?

Moi: Which came first: the vomit or the poo.

Ewan: What? What?

Moi: Let’s say someone vomits and then someone else approaches the bathroom later to poo, but, upon seeing the vomit, this person instantaneously poos on the sidewalk.

Ewan: Ah! Ah!

Moi: Or, did someone poo here as a prank and then someone else vomited as a—I don’t know—a visceral reaction to the poo?

Ewan: Ah! Ah!

Moi: My question—the reason I’m standing here—is which came first: the poo or the vomit?

Ewan: People are disgusting! Get away from me! You are disgusting! Ah! Ah!

Ewan McGregor exits stage right.

The end.

Published by Mink

The amazing writer, husband, father, traveler, and in general a uniquely amazing person named Jared Mink.

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