In which the philosopher recognizes the local drunk as being a famous actor (incarcerated philosopher 6)

The local drunk sits on his jail bed and thumbs his phone. The philosopher paces the cell; suddenly he turns on the drunk accusingly:

Philosopher: You are an actor! I’ve seen your face on a movie poster!

Drunk: Who, me?

Philosopher: You are Johnny Depp!

Drunk: Moi?

Philosopher: Yes, I’m sure of it now! It was some stupid poster of a movie I would never watch and I remarked about it to my students and they told me about your… career.

Drunk: Ask for my autograph and I’ll throw this phone at your head.

Philosopher: Haha, you’ve based your whole career on being an effeminate fairy, and now you are threatening physical violence! Haha!

Drunk: Wow, look at the wordsmith everyone.

Philosopher: I guess I could do better than effeminate fairy; those ARE synonyms. One of the two words should be enough. Just fairy? Or just effeminate? Oh, I know, a pun on femme fatal…

Drunk: YOU ARE A PHILOSOPHER!

Philosopher: You say that with such insult.

Drunk: No one cares what you think; you are the cell mate to a famous drunk. You couldn’t be in a worse position in life, man.

Philosopher: Femme banal?

Drunk: I own five Lamborghinis! Five!

Philosopher: I have it: femme droll. Femme a la droll?

Drunk: Which one, man? Huh? Femme droll or femme a la droll?

Philosopher: The right words take time.

Drunk: Oh, go sulk in the corner, PHILOSOPHER!

Philosopher: Well, a good insult takes a lot of work!

Drunk: Yeah, yeah, go wordsmith your pun in the corner, man. Let me know when it is ready.

The end.

Published by Mink

The amazing writer, husband, father, traveler, and in general a uniquely amazing person named Jared Mink.

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