A Portuguese woman walks to the beach and talks into her phone.

Tourist: She’s an American; she wants the enormous kitchen. Yes, it looks like a morgue. So what? She likes it; she wants stainless steel everywhere and the deep drawers that hide dead bodies. And the price! The more the better; no, don’t worry; don’t worry! She’s one of these “go big or go home” types; she wants more debt; debt is good for this woman; she can leverage debt. Debt proves that she’s someone; she’s going to leverage this new debt against her older debts. She’s going to leverage and leverage until her mind snaps and she lives homeless on the street wandering between molestation to traumatic stress to religion. This is what this woman wants: she’s an American, okay?

The end.