The brains of the family

A bedroom. The fuddy-duddy lays in bed with the blankets pulled up to his neck. His sister enters with a second blanket and tosses it over him. Fuddy-duddy: Stop! Sister: I thought you would be cold. Fuddy-duddy: How will my farts escape if I use another blanket?...

In which the fuddy-duddy talks to a student

The fuddy-duddy sits in his office at the university; a student walks into the room. Fuddy-duddy, under his breath: Oh, god. Student: Hi! Fuddy-duddy: My office hours, as yet, have not begun; please, if you will stand outside the door for another moment…? Student: Did...