by Mink | Mar 29, 2022 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
Scarlett punched the brick wall repeatedly until she had made a sizable hole; she reached into the hole for a brick, turned, and knocked Moi across the head. The brick exploded like an asteroid hitting the Yucatan peninsula during the Mesozoic Era. Moi reached up a...
by Mink | Mar 11, 2022 | historio-tragicomedy, History
Sunset. A lake in the north country. Moi sits on a purple blanket at the edge of the water. An open fire warms a pot of coffee. Moi reads a few different PG Wodehouse novels back-to-back for hours on end, pauses, pours a coffee, and speaks an aside. Moi: I was always...
by Mink | Jan 26, 2022 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
A grocery store. Moi waits in line near a showcase of books. He reads the titles aside to the audience: Moi, aside: Oh, these books look wonderful! Wow! Here we have a book entitled “Adolescents: how to diminish your teenager’s resentment of you as much as possible.”...
by Mink | Jan 25, 2022 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
A café. Dawn. Moi sits and reads a play by William Shakespeare. Ewan enters the café and runs to Moi’s table. Ewan: Hide me, quick! Moi: What’s going on! Ewan: No time! Hide me! Moi: Under the table! Ewan crawls under the table. Immediately afterward Scarlett...
by Mink | Dec 27, 2021 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
Ewan: Who would your ideal dinner guests me, Moi?Moi: Hm, that’s an interesting question, Ewan. I guess, these three: MosesShakespeareJRR Tolkien Ewan: That’s an interesting mixture.Moi: I suppose they would just sit there looking at one another.Ewan:...
by Mink | Dec 15, 2021 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
Ewan’s front door. Moi rings the bell. After a moment, Ewan opens the door. He wears an apron. Ewan: Moi! Moi: Hi, Ewan. I wanted to come by your house today and apologize for yelling at you about the yogurt. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I was reading the news a...
by Mink | Dec 6, 2021 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
The dairy aisle of a supermarket. Moi stands silently reading the back label of a yogurt tub. After a moment, he silently reads the back of a second yogurt tub. Ewan McGregor quietly approaches and whispers: Ewan: Um, excuse me, Moi, I can’t help but notice that you...
by Mink | Dec 5, 2021 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
Night. The front lawn of Moi’s house. A shadowy figure stands under Moi’s bedroom window. The shadowy figure holds a guitar in one hand and tosses pebbles at the glass with the other. After a few sharp clicks of the pebbles against the glass, Moi opens his bedroom...
by Mink | Nov 8, 2021 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
Moi sits at a table in a café. Ewan McGregor stands awkwardly nearby and chats with Moi. Leonardo DiCaprio approaches up the street and, seeing Moi and Ewan in the café, knocks on the café window. Ewan: Oh, god, don’t look up, Moi! Moi: Why? Ewan: Oh, no; he saw us!...
by Mink | Nov 1, 2021 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
Moi sits at a table outside of a café; Ewan McGregor approaches. Ewan: Indiana Jones! Moi: Moi? Ewan: I think it is the hat; the whole ensemble, but mostly the hat. Moi: If you say so. Ewan: I don’t think I could wear one—a hat. Moi: Sure you could: you just put in on...
by Mink | Oct 13, 2021 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
A school; Moi approaches as a small human cries wildly near the door. Moi: Hey, little tiger, why are you crying? Small human: My m-mommy is so selfish! Moi: It isn’t any of my business, but I have some helpful observations, which I would love to observe upon you....
by Mink | Oct 8, 2021 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
A hillside in a park; Moi and Ewan sit on a blanket. Moi: You’ve never told me one thing: what is it like to kiss Scarlett Johans— At the word “Scarlett,” Ewan leaps to his feet, kneels beside Moi, and clasps a hand to Moi’s mouth. Ewan: DO NOT SPEAK HER NAME! Moi...
by Mink | Sep 29, 2021 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
Too early on Saturday morning. The doorbell rings; the doorbell rings again; the doorbell rings a third time and finally Moi answers the door. Moi: Oh, Ewan, it’s you. Ewan: Surprise! Biscotti and espresso! Moi: Huh? Ewan: I have biscotti! Moi: Isn’t it a little...
by Mink | Sep 28, 2021 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
Moi sits at a café in a medieval village reading an archaic novel by someone with the audacity to possess—and use publicly—three or four enormously long names. Ewan McGregor approaches from street left. Ewan: Hey, Moi! Moi: Yes? Ewan: I’m so happy I found you; guess...
by Mink | Sep 15, 2021 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
Moi stands at the door of a public bathroom and looks at the sidewalk. Ewan McGregor approaches. Ewan: Man, I need to pee! Moi: Stop. Ewan: What are you looking at, man? Moi: Stop, don’t go any further. Ewan: I need to pee! Moi: Look at the ground: there is a poo...
by Mink | Jun 8, 2021 | Comedy, historio-tragicomedy
Ewan McGregor approaches with a smile and gives Moi a big hug. Ewan: It is SO good to see you again! How have you been? Moi: Oh, you know… We stayed in some houses for a year during quarantines, but we are living in our van again. Traveling around like old times...
