In which an evangelical pastor attempts to manipulate a young wizard

An evangelical pastor sits at the kitchen table with a well-marked open bible before him. His son walks into the kitchen and opens the refrigerator searching for the cold chicken, mayonnaise, tomatoes, lettuce, and bread. Pastor: Can I talk to you for a minute? Come and sit here. Son: Sure, what’s up? Pastor: I was …

In which a wizard goes to the mall with a plasma ball

A wizard walks into a shopping mall with a ball of plasma atop his wizard’s staff. He approaches a group of people loitering in a corridor. Wizard: Behold! People: Oh, god, what is that guy doing? Call the police! Wizard: I am here to teach you all how to wield the flame of Anor; with …