The Happy Jew

A. I have a recurring dream about being a happy Jew.

Silence.

A. I said, I have a recurring dream about being a happy Jew.

B. I heard you; I heard you. I don’t have anything to say. My mind is a blank; I’m waiting for more information.

A. I have a Jewish wife. Jewish kids. A rabbi. Some friends.

B. What kind of friends? Jewish friends?

A. Adult men my age. These guys are salesmen and bankers and managers. That kind of person. We are standing around drinking something and talking shop. We are wearing polo shirts and have neat cut hair.

B. And you despise them all?

A. No, I like them! In the dream, I love my life. The dream is as if I’ve thrown off artistic and liberal ideals of being a bohemian artist who is poor, but with all the right values who can speak truth to power. Instead, I make money because money IS power. I don’t have empty words or sour emotions about society or the marketplace based on petrol; no, I just go with it and make money.

B. The dream is primarily financial? Nothing about the Holocaust or Palestine?

A. No, none of that; a lovely dream. A happy Jew dream of a life with a loving Jewish wife, kids, and friends.

B. A picturesque family life?

A. Yes. I buy flowers every day. There are plenty of wild flowers to pick, of course, but I buy a bouquet every day for the wife just to show her that I can buy her a bouquet vis-a-vis picking free flowers.

B. And what does she do?

A. Oh, you know.

B. Haha. I see what kind of dream it is.

A. No, no, no; the dream is just a picture of home life. Very family-friendly dream in every way.

B. Maybe you should convert.

A. Are you being sarcastic?

B. No. Yes, a little.

A. Haha, I guess that makes you a better liberal bohemian than I am; you can look further down your nose at people with money than I.

B. As a good liberal, I would never look down on you or the Jews, but I would champion the cause of the Palestinian.

A. My dream wasn’t about converting to a new religion; it was about an ethnicity–well, a society–and a business.

B. What do you do in this dream? What is your job?

A. No idea. I don’t do anything: I enjoy all the rewards without spending hours at the office.

The end.

Published by Mink

The amazing writer, husband, father, traveler, and in general a uniquely amazing person named Jared Mink.